I'm Not the One
by realcoffeebeans17
Summary: One shot.  Christina/Tom fluff based on the song "Always Been Your Girl" perforrmed by Heather Headley


I don't own anything related to the Hawthorne TV show. The characters are not mine. The song "Always Be Your Girl" is not mine, either.

Author's note: This is a one shot. I heard this song on the radio not too long ago. I began thinking how similar it was to Christina and Tom's situation. This story does not quite follow the time line of the show, but I thought it would be fun to write. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks.

As usual it was another hectic day at the hospital. Christina was glad to be home, though she could hear Camille's chatter from inside, she decided to cross the threshold anyway. "Camille, I'm home!" she shouted. Christina looked around the family room recalling the evening she, Tom and Camille shared a movie and popcorn. "God...I must really be tired." she thought. A feeling of loss struck her as she dropped onto the sofa clasping one of its cushions. Her thoughts drift to Tom throughout the day...everyday. "This is so getting old! I need to snap out of it. We are not together like that anymore and I have to get use to it." she mumbles to herself. Clutching the cushion tighter, she can just make out his scent. Tom rarely wore cologne while at the hospital, but he always smelled like the outdoors, fresh and clean. "It must be a special soap he uses." she thinks. Of course, this triggers more thoughts. Christina thinks back to that night. It started out so tragically, yet, ended with the discovery of something so profound. They suffered the loss of one of their own, but the night was full of passion and love. Yes, she loved Tom and what they shared that night was beyond anything she had ever experienced before. Her husband Michael was a gentle lover, but with Tom it was electric, indescribable. Christina blushed thinking of her actions that night, her toes curling She couldn't get close enough to him and Tom allowed her to take control. It was as if he knew she needed to physically express herself and of course...he wasn't going to complain. Christina wanted to experience those feelings of intimacy again. "Who am I kidding?" she said. Tom was seeing Erin and she was killing time with Nick. He was a great guy and all, but he wasn't Tom. It wouldn't be right to encourage him, even if she was missing Tom. Christina enjoyed Nick's company; but there was just no real spark there. "Maybe...one day" she rationalized, silently acknowledging that it would never happen. However, all this was getting her nowhere.

Christina had been feeling out of sorts lately. Her appetite fluctuated, some days she felt peckish and others absolutely ravenous. All the effort it took to suppress her anxiety was beginning to take its toll. Or, maybe it was something else. Something so incredible that for the moment she couldn't accept it, but knew in her heart it was a definite possibility. "Maybe, I'm anemic." she thought, using that as an explanation for her symptoms. "Mom...dinner is ready." called Camille, startling Christina. How long had she been sitting there? "Sure, sweetie. I'll be right there." she answered, suddenly hungry again.

After dinner, Camille went to her bedroom while Christina headed to the family room. For some reason, she felt compelled to go there again. Christina was restless. Since the room was a bit cluttered, she began picking up a few things which were scattered around. She suddenly remembered the potted geraniums on the front porch. They hadn't been watered in a few days, so she took the can from behind the white-washed bench. Instead of going inside to fill it, she went around the side of the house to use the hose. The days had been pretty warm lately, but the nights were so much more comfortable. After watering the plants, Christina bypassed the bench and sat upon the front step. She always enjoyed the view and tonight was no different. The sky was a velvety midnight blue with the stars flickering like highly polished jewels. The air was still and for the moment all was quiet. She felt she could stay in that exact spot all night. Just then, she heard music softly playing from the house next door. It was faint, but she was just able to make it out. The first few words captured her attention and at that moment, the lyrics spoke to her heart. All that she felt for Tom, their budding relationship and subsequent break-up, along with a hefty dose of Erin, was expressed in the song. She listened, growing more dejected to...

Don't lie to me  
Even if it's gonna make me cry  
Say what you mean  
Even if it hurts me deep inside  
We've been good friends for years  
And I hold that dear  
But you cannot end this night  
Without giving me a chance to tell ya  
How I feel inside

So you're seeing her  
What's this the, third or second date?  
Is it serious?  
If it is your making a big mistake  
Can you be truthful when  
Your alone with her and look into her eyes  
If you tell me that you don't think of me it would come as a surprise

_[Chorus]_  
Can you tell me that I'm not her  
Say I'm not the one who completes your world  
Who should share your name  
Who should wear your ring  
When I've always been your girl  
Can you tell me I'm not the one  
To be the mother of your unborn son  
May not have the tie but there's no dentin that you feel the same  
Cause I've always been your girl

Oh Listen to me  
And don't you dare say it's too late  
Now honestly  
You know she's only a passing face  
I am your meant to be  
Your eternity  
Shouldn't settle for anything less  
She may have your body But I own your heart  
To ignore this you'll regret

_[Chorus]_

Girl, Girl, Your girl!

I am your meant to be  
Your eternity  
Shouldn't settle for anything less  
She may have your body But I own your heart  
To ignore it you'll regret

The song comes to an end. Christina's heart is breaking. "Tom, I need you so much!" she whispers as she leans against the porch rail. The post is cold against her cheek. "I'm so tired." she sighs and closes her eyes. She is startled once again as the phone rings. " I'd rather not answer it" she says to herself as the last vestige of her dream fade. Suddenly dispirited, she stands up intent on heading into the house. Christina turns to close the door and hears her name. Turning toward the sound, she watches dumbfounded as Tom strides up the front path. Instantly agitated, she says, "'It's been a hell of a day, Tom. I'm tired and it's late." She is astonished and furious at the same time. Bristling, she says, "What's so damn important that it brings you here at this time of night?" Tom is silent. Christina repeats the question...and again no response. Frustrated and a little unnerved, she turns away and begins to close the door. "No...wait...please, Christina!" Tom implores softly. Gently he takes hold of her wrist and pulls her into his embrace. "Stop it, Tom. Let go of me...I'm not the one you want. Go back to Erin." she says. "I was stupid. It was wrong and I'm sorry...more than I can say. Christina, please believe me, sweetheart. I've wasted so much time already and just want to make this right. Please tell me there is still a chance for us." Tom asks beseechingly. Christina's resolve melts as Tom holds her tight. She loves him so and has missed him terribly. It feels so good to be this close to him again. "What about Erin...isn't she your uh , your uh girl...girlfriend?" asks Christina, her voice muffled by the solidness of his shoulder. She wasn't quite ready to forgive him. "No." replies Tom. "It was a combination of...of, I don't know, Christina. I was hurting and she played on that. I should never have encouraged her in the first place. What Erin and I had...whatever it was, well... its over. I knew when I saw you leaving the hospital tonight that I couldn't let this go on any longer. I drove here knowing that you probably wouldn't want to see me. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but when I saw you sitting alone on the porch, I could see how upset you were." "Upset...upset! Tom are you serious?" Christina scoffs. "I've been going crazy without you and on top of that having to face the reality of you and Erin as a couple." she says. "It sucks." Christina is overcome with emotion. Her cheeks are wet from silent tears. Tom prays his next words will be enough to convince her. He takes a step back, gently taking Christina's shoulders. Upon seeing her look of distress, he lifts his hand and tenderly rubs her cheek. His green gaze lovingly captures her own, ensuring that she does not look away and says, " You are and will always be, my girl." Christina's smile was all the incentive he needed as Tom kisses her deeply.


End file.
